I'm BORED! B-O-R-E-D!
It has been two weeks and two days, and I can do no more with my right arm than I could do two weeks ago after The Arm Thing...and it hurts just as much or maybe even a little more.
My jailer, my husband, won't let me do anything!
-Can't flea comb the dogs.
-Can't wash a dog in the shower (I could wash the dog with my left hand and not involve my right arm at all!)
-Can't give hubby a haircut (he's getting quite shaggy!)
-Can't trim doggie hair
-Can't fold clothes.
-Can't do anything that requires precision like handwriting (needed to sign some photo note cards this week but had to stop after about 15 of them).
-Can't hold the sculpting tools right in order to do some sculpting.
-Can't hold the camera still enough to take any photos, so y'all are going to start getting two and three-year-old pictures pretty soon!
-Can't put clothes in the washer or in the dryer with just my left hand and arm (I could but Gordon won't let me just in case I grab something with my right hand out of habit.)
-Can't take clothes out of the washer or dryer with just my left hand and arm (ditto reasoning from Gordon)
-Can't wash dishes
I can type in spells as long as I stop when it starts to hurt. Here is a picture of the ridiculous way I have to type, wrist propped up on a flax pillow so the only muscles I am using are my finger muscles, heating pad on the arm covered by a towel to hold in the heat.
With as much fat as I have on my arm, I can bake my right arm for a long time on the heating pad before the fat inside my arm starts to bubble!
At least Annie and Lillibeth have learned to come share the heating pad with me. Although, it is still a novel ritual to have one of them patter over to me, sniff my arm (to see if the heating pad is turned on), sniff my face as if to ask permission or to just say, "move over Mom, make room for my hippy poo's" (our embarrassing term for their arthritic hips).
Then the little dog turns around points her little rumpus towards my face and plops down on my arm and the heating pad. So my view is two little feet sticking into the air (or sticking into my side), bared "girly parts", a rounded, tight, freckled tummy heaving up and down rhythmically.
It is up to me to move my injured arm so that the little dog has maximum heating pad coverage and so that the little dog does not put extra weight on my injured arm. If, perchance, a pungent odor should escape from the aforementioned rounded, tight, freckled tummy, then I have only my left arm to wave frantically in search of fresh air.
So yesterday (Friday)afternoon, Gordon set me up in my Wifey Play Pen: oversized custom made bed tray, laptop, big thermos of peach tea (which runs right through me), my blankie to keep my feet warm and Westies on guard on top of my blankie. I did have the remote control, but he forgot to leave me any phones within arm's reach.
No problem. He said he would just be gone for a few minutes. I was not worried.
I typed until it hurt. Then I played the computer jigsaw puzzle with my left hand while watching TV. I lost track of time.
Suddenly I realized I had probably been drinking the peach tea too fast! Then I realized I needed my afternoon banana or apple to keep my blood sugar level. Then I realized I did not have any phones nearby, and I was TRAPPED!
JAILED in my Wifey Play Pen!
Just try to picture (my ample)Wiggle, Wiggle, Wiggle to put thermos on the bedside table on the RIGHT side of the bed...so I could not do it with my right arm. This was strictly a Left Arm Escape Operation from the Wifey Play Pen!
When the Westies realized I was wiggling, they moved in closer for some scratching, loving, petting, etc. I'd roll Elvis off of my legs with my left arm, and Mackie would crawl over my right arm and sit on my chest and lick my face.
I'd thank Mackie for his kisses and move him off of my chest with my left arm, Meanwhile, Annie would snarl and snap at Lillibeth who had moved a couple of millimeters too close to me. The snap-snarl-girl-fight was threatening to explode over my ankles and feet just beyond the reach of my left arm.
You try hurting your right arm to the point of not being able to move it on its own, and you will see just how inter-related your body is! You can't sit up without calling on the muscles in the right arm. It was a shocking lesson I learned back in 1996 when the silly arm broke on me!
So, I managed to wiggle and insert a foot between Annie and Lillibeth, praying they would not accidentally bite my foot (it has happened once or twice before) I talked soothingly but firmly to stop the girly dog fight at my feet. Successful, thankfully!
Before I could start to ponder how to get the laptop off of the bed tray and safely moved over to the bedside table on the RIGHT side of the bed, both Elvis and Mackie moved back in to keep me from getting out of my Wifey Play Pen!
By this time, the peach tea was starting to discuss the situation with my bladder with a bit of urgency, and I was still not free of the oversized bed tray and computer.
Plus, I still had to extricate myself from my chenille blankie which was wrapped around my feet and tucked into every possible indentation.
I finally rolled the laptop on top of my chest. A hinge is threatening to break, so I only close or open the laptop when I just have to. Picture me with an uncomfortably warm laptop open around my face and neck while I push over the bed tray and try not to pin down a dog.
Oversized means a HEAVIER bed tray, folks! Still with laptop wrapped around my face, illuminating every grimace and gritted, toothy growl of determination, I managed to swing my legs over the edge of the bed while clutching the laptop to my face and neck with my not-too-happy right arm.
Laptop safely deposited on bedside table using both left and right arm, I then wrestled the bed tray to the floor, standing it up on its end. Once on my feet, I could move the bed tray with just the left arm. Years of sculpting and working with molds and dogs and farm stuff, and I do have some muscles, thankfully.
I don't remember if the blankie was hard to remove. By that time, I was desperately yanking it with my left arm at the urgent behest of my bladder, letting unsuspecting little white dogs roll over and over as the blankie under them billowed into the air.
Freedom, at last! I took care of my business and then let the doggies out to take care of their business. We all piled back on the bed, but I was quite content to just watch TV and snuggle with Westies until Gordon returned.
Gordon finally came back in, apologized for being gone so long. He had decided to get the tractor and bush-hog the whole west meadow and some other area ahead of Hurricane Gustav.
I certainly could not fuss about my little escape from incarceration after he had been working out in the sweltering heat to prepare for the storm.
Right now (Saturday night), he is up in the Big House cooking chicken tenders and biscuits and gravy for all four of us.
The sweetie has been brushing my hair every day, helping me get dressed, massaging my arm, wrapping it with a stretchy bandage, putting lotion on my feet and elbows, putting one of those stinky muscle rubs on my right arm and the other places that were bruised in the fall, washing all the clothes, washing all the dishes, bringing me peach tea, being sure I get my medicine on time, helping me get out of bed and to the bathroom, taking care of Mama and Unc.
In addition, he has been hovering around to keep me from doing something that I do not need to do to damage my arm any further, and he has been able to make me laugh several times a day...something I truly treasure about him!
We have an appointment Sept. 10th with a sports orthopedic surgeon in Tupelo to have a good look-see at this arm. That was the earliest appointment we could get. He is the fabulous doctor who fixed the same arm when I broke it over a decade ago.
Sweet Gordon has not yet noticed that I washed Mackie in the shower this Saturday evening. Mackie was there in the bathroom in the Big House; Gordon was not, so I snatched up the little dog in my left arm and washed him as usual.
Mackie calmly walked around and between my feet to get wet, then I soaped him up with my left arm. I tried a little right arm action, but quickly abandoned that plan. Mackie rinsed off by walking around my feet. I then poured the flea-deterring herbal rinse over him with my left hand, and he shook himself dry. No harm, no foul, right?
"Well, Get Him! GET Him! GIT HIM!" Gordon was shouting at the Mississippi State University vs. Louisiana Tech football game on television. Football season has returned, and all is right with the world!
Supper was pure comfort food. The little Westies thought so too! What a warm fuzzy feeling blankets our living quarters in the studio tonight.
Gordon even brought in another beautiful rose from the Aloha Rose bush that DAR friend Amelia Langford gave me! Amelia, your Friendship Gardening continues to brighten my day when I seem to need it most!
Get ready for an small eruption when Gordon reads this blog post and reads about me washing Mackie today. He never noticed Mackie was wet this evening! Ha!
A little while ago, I slipped into the kitchen and started another load of clothes, emptied the drier, all with my left arm, and Gordon gave me a "talking to" about endangering the progress on my right arm. It was part playful and 90% serious. If he catches me doing anything on that list at the beginning of this post, I am banned from watching Law and Order for an undetermined amount of time. That is cruel and inhumane punishment!
Now we have been listening to Hurricane Gustav news for the past four or five hours, and it will be hard to sleep tonight or tomorrow night. I've been praying all day for God to spare lives. I'm so thankful to hear that pets are also being evacuated from New Orleans.
The fabric pictures are ones I had taken back in July, well before The Arm Thing. The patriotic fabric was a gift around July 4th, totally out of the blue from Stitchin Heaven in Quitman, TX. The other fabrics were from my stash that I was sorting last month, trying to choose something from which to make some cool summer work dresses. The pictures are as far as I ever got with that project.
Maybe when my right arm comes back into service.....