The first snow of the winter. Here in north central Mississippi.
Gordon shot these photos last night as the snow began to fall. He did not like the shots, but I personally love the edgy, grainy, raw, in-the-moment feel of them.
There was just enough snow to make everything white by this Saturday morning. I peeped out the window to see the splendor, but I did not dress and go outside to capture the magic. Instead I burrowed under the down comforter and quilts for some more delicious sleep.
Life is like that.
We look back at the fleeting magical times we might have captured if we had not been bogged down living life. How much did I miss because I wanted to "sleep" in the moment?
One of my favorite moments from a favorite movie, Blackhawk Down:
- Hoot: See, you're thinking. Don't. Because, Sergeant, you can't control who gets hit or who doesn't. Who falls out of a chopper, or why. It ain't up to you. It's just war.
- Eversmann: Yeah, well, Smith's still dead. If Blackburn hadn't fallen, none of this would've happened.
- Hoot: Would have, could have, should have - it don't matter. You'll have plenty of time to think about that later. Believe me.
Well, it's just Life. We can't control the bad stuff that happens to us. We can't control the bad done to us by other people. We can't control the consequences of the bad choices we make in life. We can't control the consequences of the choices made by those around us.
It's just Life, and I'm in a season of thinking about all those split second decisions that have put me in this moment at this place in this time.
Sadness? Some. No children with whom to share a first snow. No little ones to delight with the joys of snow ice cream. No tykes to whom to pass down the story of special Christmas ornaments. No one to inherit this family farm of six generations.
Woulda, Coulda, Shoulda.
Like the little paw prints already being erased from the slight dusting of snow on the steps last night, the footprint of this Hamer line will be gone when I die. All the stories of all the generations who have lived, sweated, bled and died here will fade. Even my footprint on this life has begun to fade from previous decades of work.
This has been a year of shedding those things that are not necessary. It has been a very painful year, but it has also been the best year of my life.
"Vanity of vanities! All is vanity." Ecclesiastes 1:1-11